Can You Wait for the 2nd Marshmallow?

Have you ever heard of the marshmallow test?

It’s a psychological experiment originating in the 1960’s and 70’s that tests the willpower and effects of delayed gratification in children. Basically, a child is left alone in a room with a marshmallow on a plate. They’re told they can eat it right away… OR… if they can be patient and wait until the administrator comes back in the room, they’ll get a second marshmallow.

Double the pleasure, double the fun.

The results are fascinating. And quite often, hilarious. Seeing the children squirming in their seats, wanting so desperately to reach out and take a bite of the pillowy goodness. But, trying with all their might not to do it.

In fact, if you have a minute and want a laugh, you can check out a version of the experiment in this video by Igniter Media:

So stinkin cute, right? I love how they sniff at it, poke at it and stare at it so intensely, I’m surprised it didn’t burst into flame right then and there.

But, it also demonstrates a very real human trait - the desire for immediate gratification. We want what we want and we want it now. It’s a part of the human condition that’s unfortunately, only been enhanced and worsened by our “instant everything” society.

If we want a coffee from Starbucks, we can instantly order it online and skip the line in the shop. If we want to watch a movie, we can pull it up in seconds on the internet and start watching with the touch of a button. Heck, we can even call on a complete stranger to come pick us up and drive us somewhere in less than five minutes.

But, with all this instant-this and instant-that, we’ve created a monster. An instant gratification monster. And the concepts of patience and willpower have all but gone out the window.

Which can be a problem when it comes to walking in God’s plans for your life. Because as you may already know, God isn’t in a hurry to abide by our timetable. Which is actually a good thing - as His timing is always perfect, never too early and never too late.

Whereas we might try to rush into something way before we’re ready or drag our feet way beyond when we were supposed to move… God will always bring the next thing right on time - the relationship, the job, the healing, the answered prayer. It’s always in His time, not ours.

Which means, we’re gonna need a whole lot of patience and willpower in the meantime. Patience, so we can wait on God without losing our minds. And willpower, because chances are, there’s going to be at least one (if not many) opportunities for you to settle for a “replica” while you’re waiting on God.

What do I mean by replica? Well, I’m actually using a term from a FANTASTIC sermon from Pastor Mike Todd at Transformation Church called “Don’t Settle for the Replica.” In it, Pastor Mike talks about how if we haven’t totally released something to God, we can often settle for a replica - a lesser version of what God has for us. It might look like it’s the same, it might even feel like it’s the same, but it’s not. And unfortunately, we often won’t know how much greater God’s plan was for us until it comes along and we compare it to the replica in hindsight.

This can apply in SO many areas of our lives - settling for the wrong relationship, the wrong career, the wrong place to live, the wrong friendships. If we’re too impatient and too focused on immediate gratification, we’ll settle for the 80% relationship (well, it’s almost everything I need…) or talk ourselves into doing a lesser version of what we know we’re called to do (well, I’m still doing something in that general ballpark…).

It’s what happens when we’re not willing to wait for the second marshmallow.

After all, we don’t know how long it’s going to be before that person comes back with the other marshmallow. What if it takes all day? What if it takes a week? A year? 5 years? 10 years?

I can’t wait that long! Besides, this marshmallow is good enough. It’s delicious, it’s fluffy. And it’s right here. Right now. I don’t need two marshmallows. I’ll be fine with just this one.

But, what if the second marshmallow wasn’t just your average marshmallow? What if it was one of those fancy craft marshmallows that come in flavors like cookie dough or cinnamon churro? And it could’ve been all yours if you had just waited.

That dream job or ministry that you always thought you were called to. The Divinely-arranged relationship that was designed specifically for you. The supportive, loving friendship that you always longed for, but never thought you’d have.

What if it’s just on the other side of that door, but you have to be willing to wait for the second marshmallow?

What if the reason God’s asking you not to eat that first marshmallow is because you’re not ready to handle it yet? What if He needs to do some more work in you… heal a few things… grow a few others… so when the second marshmallow comes, you’ll be able to sustain it and enjoy it?

It’s the little teddy bear vs. the big teddy bear.

It’s the replica vs. the real thing.

It’s one marshmallow vs. two marshmallows.

And it all comes down to patience, self-control and trust.

Do you trust God? Are you willing to wait? Can you practice self control even though what’s right in front of you looks good enough, feels good enough… seems good enough?

God won’t force us to wait. He gives us a choice. Just like those little children with the fidgety bodies in the chair at the table.

We can choose. It’s up to us. It’s up to you.

Do you go for the immediate gratification?

Or will you wait for the second marshmallow?

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