You Should Let Me Love You

One of the ways God speaks to me a lot is through music - specifically the lyrics of a song. I like to call it my “Holy Spirit radio.”

Often, He will wake me up first thing in the morning with a song on my mind that speaks exactly into whatever situation is going on in my life at the time. He will do it at other times of the day too, in the middle or prayer or even during my sleep.

It’s one of my favorite ways to hear from Him because it’s like I have my own personal Bumblebee.

And when I say He will use any song to speak, I do mean ANY song. He has used Bruno Mars, Eminem, old songs from the 50’s-80’s… He even used a song one day that I didn’t even know what it was! I barely knew the melody and thankfully, the Holy Spirit helped me track it down online (it was Solsbury Hill by Peter Gabriel) and when I read the lyrics, I was blown away.

So, when He started playing the Ne-Yo song, “Let Me Love You” in my mind the other day, I immediately went to look up the lyrics. I knew some of the ones in the chorus, but not the rest. And when I did… well, let’s just say, the waterworks began.

This is the message He had for me and I know it is for YOU too.

The day before Holy Spirit Radio played the Ne-Yo song, I had just had a pretty weighty conversation with the Lord.

After being in what seemed like a never-ending “wilderness season,” I was confused. God had clearly told me that the wilderness was over. The season of lack, struggle and hardship - though it served an important purpose in pruning and transforming me - was finished. I was now moving into a season of blessing and stepping into the promises He had made me years prior.

So, why then, was nothing changing?

Why was I still struggling? Why, from all appearances, did I still appear to be financially destitute and for all intents and purposes… homeless?

In my spirit, I knew God is my provider.
In my spirit, I knew God meets all of my needs.
In my spirit, I knew God is good, faithful and for me.

Yet, I wasn’t seeing it manifest in my life.

So, one night, while sitting in my car in a Walmart parking lot, assuming I’d probably be settling in for the night yet again… I started talking to Him out loud. I just laid it allllll out there. I told Him I wanted to believe He’d provide for me because I know that’s what His word says and His word doesn’t lie. But, I didn’t know what I was missing. I didn’t know what else to do.

And that’s when He started showing me something completely unexpected (thank you Holy Spirit, for eyes to see!). He began showing me what unconditional love actually means.

The word “unconditional” means not subject to any conditions, unqualified, unrestricted, unreserved, unlimited. The Holy Spirit added on a few… undeserved, unearned.

HIS love was all of these things. He showed me a spectrum in my head and explained He would love me the exact SAME if I were on one end where I did absolutely nothing, as if I were on the other end where I did absolutely everything. Meaning, no matter what I did or didn’t do, He would love me the same. Period.

He also showed it to me in another way - that at the beginning of the line… that is where I was created. Formed in my mother’s womb, before I was even born. At that very moment, He loved me completely. Before I was even born. And He will love me the exact SAME amount when I die and leave this earth. So again, nothing I do or don’t do in between will ever change the amount or way that He loves me. Period.

I don’t know about you… but this was a pretty earth-shaking concept for me.

So, wait… there is literally NOTHING that will change Your love for me? That seems almost too good to be true!

“Too good to be true… a phrase that MAN invented,” the Holy Spirit whispered to me. “This concept seems so foreign to you and you’ve never experienced it with anyone in your life because man is incapable of it by their very nature.”

Not one of us is perfect. Only God is perfect, so only He can truly give perfect love. We, as humans, always try to “earn” it or “deserve” it, even when we’re told we don’t have to.

He began to take me back through all of the people that were closest to me in my life and show me where I had never experienced unconditional love with any of them (except for my mother - but I had believed that “kind of” love died along with her, not to mention, I had been made to feel very guilty for receiving it from her when she was alive). In fact, I had experienced quite the opposite - very conditional love.

If I didn’t live up to their standards or did something they didn’t agree with, they withdrew their love from me. Or others had withdrawn their love from me in order to manipulate and control me.

It wasn’t pretty.

No wonder I had no concept of what unconditional love could truly be like.

This is where the Ne-Yo song came in. Take a look at these lyrics…

"Much as you blame yourself, you can't be blamed for the way that you feel
Had no example of a love that was even remotely real
How can you understand something that you never had
Ooh baby if you let me, I can help you out with all of that

Girl let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn to love yourself
Girl let me love you
And all your trouble
Don't be afraid, girl let me help
Girl let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn to love yourself
Girl let me love you
A heart of numbness, gets brought to life
I'll take you there

I can see the pain behind your eyes
It's been there for quite a while
I just wanna be the one to remind you what it is to smile
I would like to show you what true love can really do."

Go ahead, go get yourself a Kleenex now, so you can read the rest of this post. I’ll wait.

How sweet is the Lord, y’all??

God was telling me I needed to let Him love me. Because again, for those of you who don’t have a personal relationship with Him (or even those that have fallen away)… He is a gentleman. He will never force Himself on you. But, He is right there waiting, always with open arms, ready to love you.

As it turns out, He was apparently waiting for me to let Him love me.

I had been so used to having to earn people’s love and affection, that I had been trying to earn His (or reject it subconsciously) and I didn’t even know it!

If I couldn’t earn it with works, then I’d earn it with my habits and daily practices. I’d pray “enough,” worship “enough,” decree “enough.” Although usually, I told myself that I wasn’t doing it enough or the “right” way and that’s why I wasn’t seeing any breakthrough.

I thought it was all about me and apparently, I was failing.

But now, God wanted me to know that it wasn’t about me. It’s about HIM. It’s about how much He loves us. Not for anything we do or say. But, just because of who He is and who we are to Him.

We are His children. His creation. His beloved. He already loves us with a perfect love that is free to receive. It never changes, it never goes away and it never fades. But, it’s up to us to actually receive it.

Is that not the craziest thing ever? That we would actually RESIST this kind of love??

But, I’m guessing there are many of you out there like me who are either consciously or subconsciously rejecting it because we don’t know anything different.

My whole life, I’ve only known conditional love. And although Jesus has since healed those wounds too and showed me the struggles and pains that were going on for each of those people that led them to act that way… it still resulted in the same thing in my heart and spirit….

There is no such thing as love without conditions. Everything is tit for tat. You do for me, I’ll do for you.

Or, so I thought.

So, as I sat there in that Walmart parking lot, I said, “Ok, God… so how does this work then? I just say okay?”

He kind of laughed and said “Yes, it’s really that simple. It seems too easy doesn’t it? But, that’s how much I love you. And that’s why you want to love others this way now too.”

I knew what He meant by that last part.

I could barely watch a YouTube video of people paying other people’s rent or buying their groceries, without turning into a puddle of mush on the floor. I couldn’t WAIT to be able to do the same things!! I wanted to just smother people in love! And I knew that was His love within me, but what I didn’t realize was what He told me next…

I had to learn to receive this love for myself before I could truly give it away to others.

I honestly, hadn’t even realized that I was sort of skipping over that step. But, it was true. I just wanted to fast-forward to the fun part where I got to lavish God’s love on other people. But, He wanted to lavish it on me.

It was a new concept, for sure. Letting Him love me. Letting Him take care of me. But, I told Him, I was on-board.

And He has already blown my mind in the ways He has shown up since just the other day. It’s still uncomfortable and unfamiliar for me. But, at the same time, my spirit knows… this is how I was meant to be loved.

A few weeks earlier, I had a dream where I had gone into this bathroom that said “women exposed” on the front of the door. And once I was inside, I found several funhouse mirrors. When you looked into them, your reflection was distorted. And when I looked at myself in one in particular, I saw myself and I appeared to be naked. I knew in that moment in the dream, that I wasn’t naked, but I felt like I was. And I also remember noting that I looked kind of like Eve.

Now, the Lord brought this dream back up and explained how I had thought being dependent on Him and letting Him love me would leave me “exposed,” “vulnerable” and “naked.” But, in actuality, it was me being who I was created to be.

I was created to be loved.

And now, I could finally see past the lie I had been living under all this time.

It was the same exact lie the enemy used all the way back in the garden with Adam and Eve. After He whispered a lie to them and they agreed with it, they immediately felt shame. They immediately felt the need to cover up and hide from God.

And God’s response was simply “Where are you?” and “Who told you you were naked?”

He has never wanted us to feel like we had to hide from Him. He has never wanted us to feel ashamed for being “naked” and being “vulnerable.”

It’s how we were meant to live! We are meant to live LOVED by our Heavenly Father! He wants to love us, provide for us and take care of us just like any parent would want to for their own child. We are made in His image. And we are His children.

He is ready to love you at this very moment.
He is ready to wrap His arms around you at this very moment.
He is ready to care for you, heal you and take the weight from you at this very moment.

He wants each one of us to let Him love us.

He wants you to let Him love YOU.

Will you let Him?

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